Baby #3 is here!!!!
Let’s just say that it took me longer than I had planned to sit and write this down. Time seems to pass by quicker every day as I go through the 4th trimester and postpartum recovery.
This birth story is very different from the rest because I remember most of it, especially my emotions and feelings that were linked to the sequence of events. Also, I was very “present” at this birth and aware about my surroundings. Not like I wasn’t with the other two. I was a first time mom with Leo, so everything was new and I did now know what to expect. With Evie, her birth was unexpected because I did not know that I’ll go into labour that day. Do read on their birth stories below, and you’ll get a better understanding on my third birth.
So here goes the roller coaster birth story. Writing here as I journaled on my phone and all photos were taken by me too. Yes, I was THAT determined to document very single event. Don’t know how I did it, but I did! If you’re “icky” on seeing real photos, blood, other birth related realities, please do skip the story as I cannot hide the photos.
21st Feb 2021
My last photo with the connect family and they prayed for me and baby to have a smooth delivery and for all to go well. For God to be in control and that His angels will watch over us. And 2 days later, I was in labour. I really miss my connect family after seeing these pics!
22nd Feb 2021
I posted something on my Instastory this very day, stating that I think baby #3 will be overdue. There was no sign of labour and I didn’t feel any “drop” of the baby into my pelvis. It is a phenomenon called “lightening” which I did feel with Evie back then. I was preparing myself mentally that I may be overdue and not to be anxious or worried, but enjoy my pregnancy while I still can. This day, I slept pretty late at night as I was watching Endgame (Terence and I had Marvel marathon for a few nights already – so happens it was ENDGAME haha). I think it was about 1230am or close to 1am when I finally slept.
23rd Feb 2021
217am
I woke up at because I felt my water broke! Yes, you can feel it. It wasn’t a trickle for me, it was a gush as I changed position. I kinda knew it was my water, but also wanted to make sure. I moved just a little and another gush came. At this point my mind was racing! “Is this really happening? OMG baby’s coming! What? Really? Am I in labour? Should I go to the hospital?” So many things in my mind. And then I remember feeling really sleepy as I just slept like a little over an hour ago. I quickly went to the bathroom to check and true enough, it was indeed my water. My pantyliner was soaked and I took a huge pad and changed my underwear. When I came out, Terence was half awake asking me what happened. I remember my exact words “I don’t wanna scare you, but my water broke.” He was kinda calm and just asked what I wanted to do and I said lets go back to sleep and wait for contractions to pick up. At this point I had no contractions so I told myself to stay in bed and wait till they come. Based on my previous experiences, I knew that if I had gone to the hospital too early, I wont be able to go home and I do not want any unnecessary interventions. As I lay on the bed, dare not to move too much and started googling on waters breaking and then “tried” to go back to sleep. I don’t remember if I managed to sleep or not but maybe for awhile I did.
600am
Still thinking if I should head to the hospital or not. No contractions but A LOT of water kept flowing as I move. When I stood up, a big gush came and it was flowing down my legs! Yikes, I was worried I wet the bed too and dread to clean it up! I remember leaving a trail behind as I walked and asked Terence to help me clean it. My pad was soaked through and I saw the mucous plug (but unlike with Leo and Evie, this one wasn’t bloody at all). I took a shower, changed the pad and told Terence that it’s time to head to the hospital. I know that once your waters break, the chances of infection rises as there is no longer a barrier of protection between baby and the outside world. And you should have the baby within 24 hours or else, you would be induced. When your waters break, baby also has lesser and lesser fluid around.
As I left, I told Terence I wanted MCD breakfast but unfortunately they were closed as they have special operation hours due to MCO. So we head to 7-eleven to get some buns only.
730am
I checked into HKL and waited to be checked. It does take awhile in the government hospital but I did not mind it at all. I knew I was in good hands (I birthed Evie here too) and waiting is good because it allows my body to naturally progress. Once I was in the hospital, Terence could not be with me, due to MCO restrictions (that sucks) but I was prepared for it. I knew I would have to birth alone and all. It did take me awhile to come to terms with that, but it is all good. I knew God is with me and there is nothing to worry about. But for Terence it was hard because he was right there at the birth of the other two kids. Not being there seems “irresponsible” but I assured him that I will be just fine. Video call still works! Hey, thank God for technology!
900am
Finally it was my turn. The doc checked and I was only 2cm (hated how labour is progressed only by dilation) and had a membrane sweep. It was uncomfortable but I allowed it, hoping it’ll help me progress. A swab was taken from my cervix to make sure it was a true membrane rupture and the doc confirmed that the mucous plug has detached. He also mentioned that the baby seems to measure a little small, around 2.8kgs. In my mind, the size of the baby didn’t really matter and if it is small, well, easier to birth! After this, I took the covid RTK swab (which is required by the hospital before admission). For those who are wondering, the covid swam hurts. It gave me a headache for a few mins and my eyes was watering a lot. Probably went so deep into my sinus. I would never want to repeat this again!
920am
A specialist came to check me again and mentioned that all seems fine. She was kind and explained that they will admit me and wait for labour to start naturally. I will be given antibiotics around noon (12 hours after waters breaking) to prevent infection and then given 24 hours before they induce me with oxytocin (or pitocin), which is the hormone that starts labour. These information were true from what I know so I was very comfortable with it. I was induced with the other two kids too, so I was hoping that I will go into labour naturally. 5 minutes later I had my IV line set up on my left hand.
1100am
I was told there aren’t any beds available at that moment so I’ll have to wait at the waiting area first. Since there isn’t a time they could assure me, I told Terence to go home and see to the kids. No point waiting for me and at this point I can only see him from the glass (because I took the swab test, I cannot exit the area) and through phone call. I said please GrabFood over MCDs as I was starving and still wanted to satisfy my MCD cravings which I didn’t get at breakfast haha. After eating, I felt very sleepy (didn’t sleep since water broke?) and manage to take short naps at the waiting area while charging my phone. I walked around waiting for surges to come. With Evie, I had surges coming once I had the membrane sweep but this time, there were almost none even after the sweep.
245pm
They finally told me that my bed is ready so I can proceed to register at the admission counter. This is usually done by the husband but since Terence went home, I went to do it myself. It wasn’t far but as I was walking, I left a trail of water flowing from my legs. It was VERY AWKWARD. My pad was probably full by this time (changed maybe 4x already?) but I couldn’t stop suddenly. Walking is HARD when your waters have broken. And I didn’t know that a pregnant womb could hold so much water! I paid RM5 for admission fees, LOL. YAY!
320pm
I entered the ward, went to the bed, changed and finally managed to rest and nap for a bit. The ward was so spacious, comfortable and nice! Everything looked new and even better than private hospitals in my honest opinion.
1000pm
At this point, surges were mild and off and on. I felt a little discouraged as my waters broke almost 24 hours already and still no consistent surges. I expected it to progress like how it should from what I read. But really, nothing happened. Surges were so inconsistent, I wasn’t even sure if I was in labour. Except that my water keep leaking, nothing was really happening. I listened to Kingdomcity worship to easy my mind and surrendering the progress to the Lord, and let the Nintendo Switch keep my mind off worries.
1130pm
I wanted to go to bed. Dropped some Peace essential oil on the pillow and I fell asleep.
24th February 2021
130am
Surges suddenly came on stronger and more consistent as I sleep. I started timing them. I guess when you’re relaxed, your body progress better. This is a true fact that I know NOW as I type this.
215am
Surges were coming every 7-8 minutes, lasting about 1 minute+ at this time. Pretty painful and I practiced breathing between them. Yay for progress. I was getting excited too.
440am
Surges started to slow down a lot and then almost none. To be honest, I was quite confused at this time. What is happening to by body? Why am I not progressing? Is my baby ok? Frustration and tiredness sunk into me.
730am
I slept from 646am till 720am and NOTHING HAPPENED. I felt very sad and I cried. So much. I felt as if my body has failed me. When friends texted to ask about my updates and condition, I was upset. I was upset that I had nothing to report. I already updated that I wasn’t progressing and they still asked questions that wasn’t really helping me at that point. I was angry, frustrated, sad and just so disappointed. The other 2 ladies that checked in together with me already had their babies! One at 1130pm and another at around 4am. And they were admitted not because of their waters breaking, but just low fetal movement, but they ended up having their babies so fast. I saw them being wheeled back to the ward after labour and was in disbelief! So quick and so easy for them. At this point my mind was so clogged and I just needed to cry it out.
745am
More water leaked as I walk. I went to the nurses station and ask for a pad and got reprimanded for not bringing my own. I said I didn’t expect to still be here leaking as it is already the next day and my pads were all used up! I was past 24 hours and I kept feeling worried about infections. The doc that came to check told me that it is ok as long as baby’s heartrate is fine (they check me every 3 hours or so) and told me that my cervix is still thick and only 3cm. She also said that they will induce me once the labour room is free (there are many other mothers going into labour too in government hospitals, so waiting is pretty normal. But in cases like birth, waiting is good for your body to progress naturally instead of trying to intervene with unnecessary procedures). I wanted to be induced right away because of the 24 hour period but I had to continue to wait. Feeling as defeated as it is, I was extra sensitive and just wanted to cry.
810am
I video called Terence and couldn’t hold back my tears. I think I never cried so hard before in a long time. Like, really, really cry because I feel so helpless. I was worried because it’s been over 24 hours, I was scared because I was alone. What if induction didn’t work? What if I ended up with a C-sec because her heartrate starts dropping? Contractions from being induced are really strong and I was just scared and all over the place. We prayed and then just left it to God. Because His timing is perfect, right? His thoughts are higher and I just needed to trust Him and trust that my body will do it. Easier said than done. The rest of the afternoon was uneventful. I kept on walking and even squatting whenever I could. I walked to see other newborn babies and spoke to my belly a lot.
420pm
Terence came to pass me some food. The food at the hospital is pretty bad. Just the main meals and if you want anything else, you’ve gotta bring it. I only packed a snack bag and those buns which we bought from 7-eleven, BECAUSE I didn’t know that I would not have a baby by the end of the same day and through the next day! I requested for cream crackers, milo, plain bread, cup noodles and a cup and spoon.
630pm
The nurse came and asked me if I had eaten dinner and I said no. She said “Well, you eat your dinner first, because after this you will go to the labour room”. “WHAT? NOW?” was my expression. I guess I was so down the whole day and didn’t expect that by evening I’d be birthing! I was still full from the tea time snack I had – apam balik! Which was given to me by the other patient whose mom came to pass her hot snacks. I told the nurse I am hot hungry and she said you better eat some because you need the energy later. Feeling slightly excited, I ate a few spoonfuls of my meal and got ready to go.
653pm
Finally entered the labour room and got hooked up to the CTG machine and another IV line for Pitocin. I prayed for blessings. For the nurse, the midwife, the doctor, the paediatrician, the environment, the equipment, basically whatever I could remember.
700pm
The marathon begins. I asked the nurse midwife A LOT of questions just to keep my mind busy and I learned a lot of things about the hospital and induction/birth processes. She started me off at 4ml of Pitocin, as they will gradually increase it depending on how my body is reacting to the contractions. Surges were mild and I was 3cm. According to the doc again, my cervix is not effaced and “very thick”. I hated what I hear but honestly, after this third birth, I KNOW my body much better and I wont be affected by the words anymore (if I ever have a 4th child?!?!). Having a thick cervix usually means your body isn’t progressing, but just read on.
745pm
Pitocin was increased to 16ml and things started to pick up! Contractions were every 8-10 minutes, similar to what I experienced the night before.
815pm or 830pm
Pitocin was increased to 24ml! I was shocked when she increased it but I just had to trust them. From here, active labour started. Surges were every 3-4 minutes and I had 4 contractions in 10 minutes! Oh the pain and mind game I have to tell myself and reciting positive birth affirmations in my head!
Funny tho while all this were happening, I was asking the nurse about epidural and how much it would be. I didn’t know that government hospitals also allow epidural if the patient asks for it. All these were happening between surges, haha! Well, in those moments, I was really thinking to myself – should I try asking for the epidural? Since it isn’t that expensive, should I just try it? This is my last baby, maybe just for experience? I was seriously thinking about it as the pain was so strong when it comes. LOL. The nurse asked me again “So you want or not? If yes, I go and call the aesthetician”. I said never mind, I’ll just take the gas. I remembered that epidural or any other form of pain killers will also affect the baby and the progress. I do not want to end up with a C-sec so again, I told myself that my body completed the process before -TWICE! IT can do it again! I kept proclaiming that “I am built to birth” and “I labour not in vain, but in peace” and picturing holding baby in my arms very soon.
915pm
Contractions were OVER THE TOP at this stage. I breathed the gas in and exhale with J-breaths and my back was hurting so much. Surges were VERY STRONG and crazy painful. I felt the pressure very low and picturing baby’s head descending even more, roses opening and all that stuff. I had my phone with me all along and I video called Terence here. YES I VIDEO CALLED WHILE IN LABOUR. Now I sound like some super-human! I told him to please pray for me as the pain was getting so bad and that baby will be alright. I remember Leo saw the gas mask and asked what was that. It does look like some cool gear.
945pm
I voice messaged Terence and my sister to PLEASE PLEASE PRAY for me. Surges were sooooo strong and I had the feeling baby is gonna come VERY SOON! The nurse emptied my bladder and asked if I wanted to be checked (how nice it is to be asked rather than forced VEs! I appreciated this so much!). Her face changed when she checked. I ask her if she feels the baby’s head and she said yes, its low now but still about 6cm only. OK, what’s with this 6cm?!?! At this point is where I TRULY UNDERSTAND my body now. I had flashbacks and similar experiences with Leo and Evie. The doc went home when he saw me at 7cm and said he will be back in 2 hours and Leo was born 45 minutes later. With Evie, they told me I was 6cm ONLY but I already felt like pushing and less than 30 minutes, she was out. I told the nurse, I think I’m gonna push real soon!
1000pm
With each contraction, I felt like bearing down and pooping already! The nurse midwife was asking me like if I was sure I wanted to push already or if I wanted to get checked again etc. But honestly I couldn’t hear her. My eyes were closed most of the time and really being present with every surge that comes. I could barely talk at this point and only could do sign language. I told her wait one more surge (in sign language) and struggling to fight it and not push. In case you’re wondering, if you’re birthing without any pain killers, you can feel EVERYTHING and the urge to push comes naturally, you cannot resist it! I finally said I’m gonna push, it’s coming!!!!
1005pm
She was getting the birthing kit ready, apron, gloves and all and I told her to hurry! LOL. I was already bearing down and she asked me to turn to my side for a bit. BAD IDEA. I turned to the side and the surge was even stronger and I could feel baby’s head coming. I NEED TO PUSH ALREADY! So I quickly turned back and allowed my body to push. She said “Tunggu Puan” = “Wait miss”, and I said I can’t!
1010pm
One push and baby’s head was crowning. I could feel the ring of fireeeee but this time I wasn’t afraid of it as I did with Evie. I trusted my body to open and stretch. The burse midwife ran over and she didn’t even have gloves on because it was sooooo fast. She was telling me that she “tak sempat” and baby’s head is there. She helped me hold the perineum (to prevent me me from tearing – Thank God!) and the whole time my eyes were closed.
1012pm
She said “Ok, 123 pushhhh“. I pushed two times, hard, and baby’s whole body was out! IT’S A GIRL!!! I was ecstatic and finally opened my eyes. Quickly grabbed my phone and snapped these pics and a short video. Yes, I DID take my own photos but I didn’t have a choice. I was alone and I needed them for memory. I would not pass that chance as I may never experience this again. I am SO GLAD I did and thankful the hospital did not stop me! I sent the photos to Terence straight away and he was so shocked that baby was out already. He thought it was a random baby video but it was my voice. Once her cord was cut, she was placed on my chest. I was in awe and I remember looking a that perfectly formed baby finally in my arms.
1015pm
The after birth was quite a bad experience compared to the birth. Once she was out, I felt gushes of “liquid” flowing out a lot and I asked what was it. They told me it was blood. I had a mild hemorrhage and a whole team of doctors/nurses rushed in to help. I only remember one of the doctor saying “massage her belly” but she was punching my belly like some punching bag and it hurt so bad. Pressing so hard right after birth is no joke. I felt gushes and gushes of blood flowing out and I could barely breathe. At this point they had taken baby to check her status and weight.
1030pm
The worse experience I had have not ended. I couldn’t breathe well, I was shivering and in so much pain. My stomach was still a punching bag and I was still bleeding. I forgot what time it ended but I cried out loud when the doctor pressed so hard. Once it was finally under control, the whole team left and it was just me, baby and the nice nurse midwife.
1100pm-past midnight
She cleaned me up and told me I had no tears! She was so kind and helped baby to latch on for her first breastfeeding moment. I rested for awhile but I was feeling very weak and cold and dizzy (probably from blood loss as well). Felt worse than running a full marathon and I was so sleepy. When I turned over, BOTH my IV lines came off. I must’ve held on so hard while they were helping me with the hemorrhage that the IV line (deep in my veins) on both sides came off! Scary but funny at the same time. The burse even said “AIYO, MACAM MANA BOLEH JADI MACAM NI” because I still needed those fluids in my body. The nurse and another doc was discussing on how fast baby came from 6cm just a few minutes when she check (Yo, my body can push at 6cm ok. AND I always had a thick cervix, so…) and not even enough time for her to prep the birth kit and wear her gloves. These conversations I could hear but I was very sleepy and my eyes were shut and like going in and out of sleep.
25th February 2021
1230am
They checked me one last time and wheeled me and baby back to the ward.
100am
I was back at my bed and I called Terence just to update him. But I think I cannot remember what I said or anything because I was very tired at this point but also running high on adrenaline. I manage to sleep after that.
310am
I woke up and walked to the toilet to change the pad and wore my underwear. I could walk a bit, slow but I was glad to be able to get up and not faint. My lower back was aching really bad. I was also very hungry (because my last meal was that half eaten dinner at 630pm) so I ate a plain slice of bread and went back to nurse and sleep.
So there you have it. The roller-coaster birth of Josie Grace. Roller-coaster because it was really up and down and nothing as planned. She was born 44 hours after my water broke and really a new experience altogether. But this birth I consider pleasant and I learnt a lot about my body. I know how my body react to birth and just how my cervix and birth canal is. I also consider it a fast birth (not counting the time my water broke and those surges that were so inconsistent) because it started around 8+pm and she came out at 10+pm.
I was so fascinated by the umbilical cord and glad I got this shot! The lifeline of your baby in the womb where nutrients and oxygen passes through. You can see the veins/blood vessels in the opaque looking cord! How amazing is our God who created all these!
I am so thankful and grateful because I was able to be present mentally during the whole process, being very aware of what is going on and also that God had it all planned. He has brought both of us safely out of birth and she is healthy and I am healthy even with that milk hemorrhage. I hope you enjoyed reading this LONG birth story and have learnt something as well. Thank you for reading and keeping it real (with real photos and all) and being apart of my journey.
More updates soon on some postpartum and newborn experiences, after I catch up with some sleep and get into a good routine.
My Little Miracle 