I apologize for the late post. I was actually working on this post 2 weeks ago (1 week postpartum) and suddenly my PC crashed! Grrr… it was SO FRUSTRATING as I wanted to quickly do this as I still remember my experience. Anyway, the PC is still unstable, takes ages to start up so I will need to get it fixed soon.
Our little miracle has happened!!! Can’t believe it has been a little over 3 weeks already. I still feel as if it was yesterday that I was in labor. I am thrilled to share with you our birth story. God is faithful and He is truly gracious. He keeps His word and I am forever grateful for His blessings! Moreover, He has proven His power by giving us this miracle and making the way smooth for us. So here was the sequence of events that happened on little Leo’s birth day.
Wednesday, 31 July 2013
Today was your due date. Honestly, Mama was very anxious, hoping that you might arrive today! But no, we went for our regular check up with Prof. Tan to check on you. The scans looked good and your heart was beating strong. Doc said that it is common for 1st babies to be born past due date and that 50% of babies are born after 40 weeks. Doc did another membrane sweep to help things move along. I was already 3cm dilated he could feel your head at the end of the cervix. Even though I was anxious and waiting was really hard, doc said that there is nothing to worry about and nothing that concerns him. He also mentioned that if we really wanted to, we can check in tomorrow for an induction. We decided to wait because we believe that God’s timing would be perfect and we trust that the doc knows what he is doing.
Thursday, 1 August 2013
1 day past your due date. I was getting very bored staying at home, waiting for something to happen. Mama needed a distraction so I scheduled for a Manicure + Pedicure session. It was GREAT and relaxing. Took my mind off things and enjoying every movement of you in my belly.
Just before bedtime, I asked Papa to pray once again. I did not want to worry and we were reminding ourselves that God is in control and it will all be alright.
Friday, 2 August 2013
I woke up as usual. Did the laundry and had breakfast. Then as usual, I would go on the internet, watching YouTube videos and just trying to relax and not worry. I sat on the reclining chair at home with my legs tugged in and suddenly… something happened.
12:10 PM – Oops… my water broke! I felt a “pop” sound within me and I remember thinking “Oh my… is that the water breaking? Is this really happening?”. I sat there for a few seconds, wondering if I should stand up and see if I would feel any gush. I stood up, and true enough, I felt a trickle of water flowing out. My heart raced! In a good way 🙂 I walked to the bathroom to check, more water started to flow. I quickly grabbed my hand phone and call Papa. He said he’s on the way home.
Final picture before leaving to the hospital
2:00PM – We reached the hospital and got checked in to the labor and delivery room.
2:30PM – Doc came in and we decided to start Pitocin to allow labor to progress since your water has broken. Soon after, I started to feel mild-moderate contractions. The staff midwife and nurses was really nice. They were keeping me occupied by talking to me to keep my mind off contractions. She kept on insisting that I take the gas or epidural so that I do not have to go through the pain, but I refused.
Waiting and waiting…
6:40PM – After laboring for 4 hours, it was getting more and more intense. Mama was still smiling and bring cheerful! Doc came in to check and I was only 5-6cm dilated. I was hoping to hear like 8-9cm really… the contractions were getting 2-3 mins apart and my back was hurting badly. Again, the midwife offered the epidural but I refused! I said I want no pain killers and was very confident that I could do it! Of course at times, the pain was so intense, I just close my eyes and start to pray.
Managing contractions… with a SMILE!
9:20PM – Doc went back to take a shower as he said that I will probably labor for another 2 hours or so (I did not want to be checked at 830PM. VEs are uncomfortable and painful too. But at this time, I felt that I needed to PUSH. The back up doc came in and checked me. He said I was 7-8cm dilated and told me NOT TO PUSH, or I will bruise the cervix, etc etc. It was the hardest thing to hear. After all the contractions, there was so much pressure on my back and perineum. I remember feeling really sad and thought “I cannot do this!”. So since there is nothing I can do… being strapped on the bed (which I HATED because of my back. Feels like someone was gonna snap my spine into half!) I decided to go on my hands and knees, which made me progress quicker and relieve my back. The new shift staff midwife was not friendly at all. The midwife I had earlier was so nice, she massaged my back and helped me get into the position I was most comfortable in and just very encouraging. This other lady… not so! But I was in so much pain, I could not be bothered!
9:45PM – I felt the ring of fire! I remember telling Papa to please call the midwife/nurse/doc/whatever, I NEED TO PUSH! I remember the doc said earlier not to push and I did tell myself not to, but it was impossible. It is like asking me not to breathe! Pushing came really naturally and every time I felt the contractions, I could feel you going lower and lower. I finally asked Papa to please have a look and tell me if you were crowning (I could not see as I was on my knees). The first look, he said he saw NOTHING. I remember saying “NOTHING? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I’M FEELING THE BABY!” I honestly remember feeling that pressure down low and my body opening. Then Papa looked again and sure enough, you were crowning! He could see the top if your head and you had lotsa hair! Papa panicked a bit and went to call the midwife again (it was just me and Papa in the room that time). The midwife did not come and it is as if she did not want to catch you (not hospital procedure to deliver on hands and knees?) WHERE IS MY DOCTOR??? He agreed that I can deliver in this position! I only could do what was natural to me, PUSH!
The nursery nurse came in wondering what was happening, and when she saw you crowning and no one was there, she yelled “ALAMAK! Sudah ada kepala!” went running out to get the midwife. Then Papa said “Where is the doctor???”
10:05PM – I think it was the 3rd intense push, I felt a gush came out of me. I turn back to look, I saw this baby! Lying on the bed, cord attached, covered in bits of blood (MY BLOOD!) and suddenly, you let out a loud cry! I remember at that moment, I could not feel any pain, any contractions, NOTHING! I just stared at you, teary eyed, in disbelief! Luckily the midwife came in time to catch your head, or Papa will have to do it himself! Being in that birth position, you could have fallen out and hit your head maybe? Thank God you were safe.
You’re born! Evan Leonidas Lim Yit Ming, 3.42kg.
Then, I reminded Papa that he has to delay cord clamping and told the midwife to let Papa cut the cord. So we waited about 2 minutes before cutting the cord. In that short moment, all I felt was pure joy! I also remembered that you looked like your grandpa when I saw your face! After cutting the cord, the nurse took you to be examined and cleaned. Shortly after, the midwife delivered the placenta.
Papa had to quickly put on to gloves, haha!
10:30PM – Doc finally came in. He checked me and stitched me up. Yes, I did tear and it was quite extensive due to the position I was birthing in. Doc said I was bleeding a lot and he had to be quick so that I do not lose more blood. I was shivering and feeling very very cold after the birth. Papa followed you to the nursery while I was being stitched. I lost almost 700ml of blood according to doc and Papa said the bed was covered in “red paint”. It was not a pretty sight! But Mama was feeling overwhelmed! I was more relieved than anything! I couldn’t wait to hold you in my arms!
11:10PM – Doc finally finished the stitches and explained to me how the tear was and what he did. It was pretty painful as I was not on any pain killer. He did jab a local but I could still feel the pain. He also said that if it was too painful, he will have to do it in the operating room but I said I would bear the pain. I was wheeled into the recovery room and then I met you! I could not believe I just had a baby. You opened your eyes as I called your name and then we started bonding through breastfeeding. It was close to midnight and we rested until the next day.
Saturday, 3rd August 2013
The pediatrician came to check on you and during his check, he suspected something wrong with your collarbone. He felt something “clicking” on and off and requested for an x-ray. Mama’s heart sank when I found out that something was wrong with you. We were both concerned and really did not know what to expect. But we kept praying and stayed positive as we know that God is in control. The x-ray results came in later in the afternoon and it showed a broken collarbone. Yes, you had a broken clavicle on your left side. The pediatrician said not to worry as it will heal on its own. Babies’ bones are easily fused together and he said that we should not worry too much.
Prof. Tan came in to check on me too and he asked if I had push you out really hard during labor. It was a question I could not answer. I haven’t had any other birth to compare with, right? I only said yes, because I could not hold it even though I was only 7-8cm dilated. Anyway, he said that your bone is probably broken during birth, as I was pushing really hard and no time for you to rotate for the shoulders to come out. When we think about it now, I felt a little negligence there. If the doc was there to aid your birth, this might not have happened. If the midwife would come in and help rotate your head, you will not have a broken bone.
Papa and grandpa were a pro at holding you!
Later that day, we checked out of the hospital and the journey of motherhood began.
Our very first Lim family picture ❤
You are healing well now and the clavicle does not seem to bother you. We thank God that He truly is wonderful and He will take care of you. Overall, it was an amazing experience and the pain of childbirth cannot be explained. I cannot even describe what it feels like. I believe thank God for the smooth delivery we had and that Mama did it without any pain killers! It was something I’ve set in my mind that I do not want any drugs to interfere. Truly, I am blessed.
Papa too did a great job! He was so supportive and helpful throughout! I could not have any better birth partner than him. He knew that I wanted and he was so brave to be in that room to see everything that happened (many fathers faint during childbirth and some do not even date to enter the room!) Papa deserved a medal too! I am so thankful to have him present all the way and he made it all easier for me. I could not have done it without him!
Dear, if you are reading this, thank you for being there. It meant the world to me and I am so proud of you! I am sure you have your side of the story to tell too 🙂 Know that I appreciate what you did for me and baby and being so patient with me throughout the whole pregnancy. I love you and we will go through bringing Leo up together as a family.